Gman goes to Gomantak!!

The days are going by at a rather alarming rate, February is almost done and dusted and my Lets-eat-at-a-new-place-every-week plan is still going strong. Last week my fellow Marathi Manoos buddy took me to this delightful place on the highway for some authentic Malwani cuisine. For those of you who don't follow, Malwani means seafood, and good delicious cheap sea food too. Now all my hardcore non vegetarian friends keep reminding me that seafood is the way to go, its tastier, healthier and well the variety is just too much. But being a former vegetarian myself, we find it tough to hog seafood like you barbarians, I mean of all the kinds of animal meat we probably have the biggest mental block towards seafood. There's no denying seafood is an acquired taste and once you acquire you can really really have some fun with it, but till then I shall be satisfied with my Chicken and the occasional Prawn fry. Now I think I can speak on behalf of all vegetarian converts that we are not comfortable with eating seafood, here's why - None of us paid much attention in Biology class during school and we obviously don't know the anatomy of a fish. Then again its not like there is only one type of Fish, there's like a whole race of Nemo's that we simply haven't found. Evidently our homes don't cook meat so there's no chance of us learning about the insides of a fish at home.

So obviously when my friend told me to go straight ahead to the Pomfret Thali, I took his word for it and did. I sat their bewildered looking at this one big piece dipped in some delicious gravy with some traditional Solkand on the side. Now obviously this was no boneless chicken piece that I could just gobble away, I had to be very very careful. The irritating thing with fish is that you have to get your hands dirty, quite literally. I mean there are so many teeny tiny bones to pick, and a newbie like me would not know what to eat and what not to. And some of these bones are very very sharp, despite their size and you're friend sitting next to you telling stories about how they can cut a mans throat certainly don't build your appetite. I mean in all fairness the Pomfret thali was good, but I certainly didn't enjoy it like my other Marathi Manoos friends. I'm still not completely convinced about seafood, fish especially because I still get grossed out by the fact that I'm like sitting and dissecting this animal to its bare bones and then eating it. But not all fish is bad, the Rawas fry we had was a pleasant surprise, I'm told they have just one bone and it's one of the easiest fish to eat, Bombhil Fry was also well made, pretty good quantity for about 150 bucks a plate. I guess Highway Gomantak is one of the few 'cheap' sea food places left in Bombay. No extravagant ambiance and all, a hardcore traditional Maharashtrian eatery, where you have to eat with your hands and should you want to tinkle, you gotta do it Indian style. You obviously cannot compare Gomantak to Gajalee and Mahesh Lunch Home etc, because this place is nowhere near those standards in terms of class and location. But if its just about the food, Highway Gomantak still gets a thumbs up from Swami G.

Hell make it a double thumbs up, simply because of the Prawns. Now prawns I have grown to love in my short stint as a hardcore non vegetarian, I quite like them. The Prawns Fry at Gomantak is easily their best item on the menu, coupled with some Prawns Sukha Thali and a cup of Solkand and you are one happy camper. The Prawns were miles better than the fish, without a doubt and considering we were about 12 of us and we still billed only about 350-400 per head, thats very cheap for Seafood standards. Gomantak is one of those novelty restaurants that haven't been sodomized by the commercial demand and still focused entirely on FOOD. Good food. The only problem with this is that the place is insanely popular and this means its almost always crowded and they need to run out of their specialty items. So you gotta make sure you reach early and  order quickly. Other than that this place is a nice hangout for the occasional seafood craving, and one thali with an unlimited plate of Prawns fry is well worth the trip to Bandra. I am still looking forward to actually go gaga over fish, but for now I'm happy with the food I am eating. Prawns are easily the best kind of seafood that there is, although its too early to make that assumption, but I'm gonna stick by that.

Now turning the page to the Music part of the blogpost, this morning I woke up and felt like listening to Bob Seger. Now he's not nearly as famous as the other Bob's of the music world, but if you are into Country Rock  then you might just like Bob Seger. He's very mellow and the perfect kind of artist to listen to on a lazy Saturday morning. Now I'm sure everyone has heard of Metallica's cult hit "Turn The Page" but little do people know that it was Bob Seger who first sang the original, Metallica's was a mere cover, a mind blowingly  awesome cover nonetheless but the original still wins it for me. Bob Seger's best  song by a mile, closely followed by "Roll Me Away" and one of my all time favorites "Old Time Rock and Roll". I like this song simply for its awesome lyrics:

Just take those old records off the shelf
I'll sit and listen to 'em by m'self
TODAY'S MUSIC AIN'T GOT THE SAME SOUL
I LIKE THAT OLD TIME ROCK AND ROLL.

Now the song goes on like this emphasizing why classic rock is easily the best kind of music to listen to and I really can't put it any better than Mr. Seger himself. Not the greatest artist around, but definitely worth the download for a Greatest Hits album. Good music and good food, ahh this indeed is the good life. Long live the Flavor of Rock. Cheers! 

Follow @SwamiG13

Chillin’ at CHILLI’S with some Chilled Beer listening to some Red Hot CHILI Peppers…..

February has been a very good month for me; you know that saying in hindi, “Ek Farishte ne aakar mujhe sankat ke samay mein par maddad kiya”, well that chubby angel was none other than Mr Raahil Chopra for introducing me to the wonderful wasteland that is Chilli’s. Now it was always the common misconception that Chilli’s was one of those super pricey places were simpletons like me just could not afford to go on a weekly basis, well that was true until Mr Chopra enlightened me about their “Happy Hours” scene. Every day from 4-8pm they have the standard One pe One free as part of their happy hours offer, but the best part is this includes not just their draught and regular beer, but also Cocktails, spirits, mocktails, shots etc. Now economists will still argue that they wouldn’t pay top dollar for over priced alcohol even if it is One pe One free, but let me explain it to you in detail. 

Firstly Chilli’s has a rocking bar. I mean the sheer size of it is inviting enough, not to mention the layout of the place. Very well made I must say, with booths, tables and your traditional bar stools. A rather spacious smoking lounge, a whole lot of LCD’s to watch every sporting event that is there to offer and very whacky posters and accessories like the BIG MOUTH Burger’s poster. Trust me, after you see that poster and drink at that very booth, you’re gonna wanna have a meaty Big Mouth burger. The glasses are bigger at Chilli’s. The Beer is colder, better and tastier at Chilli’s. There are booths at Chilli’s, perfect for my gang (Two Guys, A Girl and One Nigga Nigga Nigga). (I am not a racist, as my friends would tell you, I just have a rather strange fascination to African American people, and I call them my Niggas only with Love). Yeah so think about it, 450 bucks for 2 pitchers (8 big glasses) of ice cold beer served in ice cold mugs, with unlimited Tortilla Chips and Salsa sauce, come on you have to be swayed now. If you’re still not, then I can tell you from experience that the crowd in Chilli’s is mostly American and the well off working class, and trust me some of the things I have seen at Chilli’s are beyond my wildest dreams, but that’s really not a selling point for everyone. Can’t say much about the food except for the Tortilla chips so I’m just gonna wing it, I quite like Mexican cuisine, its probably the one type of cuisine where I wouldn’t mind Veg food. I have to say the food is a tad overpriced and seeing that there aren’t any happy hours offer available, it must be one dam good burger if it is worth 400 bucks. I wouldn’t come here just to eat because, there’s just no sense in that at all, the bar is the only reason why you should visit Chilli’s. There are also very liberal about their Happy Hours policy, and the waiters actually go around the tables asking you for the last order before Happy Hours ends, and trust me you can order all the alcohol you want when its Happy Hours and keep drinking till like midnight, as long as you pay your bill they are cool with it. A great bar this, a great place to hang out, make conversation, get drunk and CHILL with you’re friends. I can’t thank Raahil enough for all the wonderful times I’ve had at Chilli’s over the last month and I am sure I will be a regular in the months to follow. Gun to my head, this month the happiest I’ve ever been is between 4pm to 8pm. 

Apart from the pretty chics and cougars at Chilli’s, even the music is very nice; they play a lot of pop and hip-hop, but every once in a while they play good stuff like RHCP. Imagine our surprise when we were all drinking and suddenly we see our black magic woman going “Bobble head” and singing “Give It Away, Give It Away Now…” Yes we actually heard Red Hot Chili Peppers at Chilli’s, fitting really and I knew right then that I shall have to write about Chilli’s and RHCP. Now first things first, if you thought RHCP was spelt Red Hot Chilli Peppers, then you are just a fag and its too late for you now. If you did know the correct spelling, then you would be the first one to agree with me that RHCP is probably one of the greatest ever rock/alternative bands to have graced planet earth. I mean I still don’t get why they are clubbed under Alternative, but that being said, they have been the undisputed kings of that genre for a long time now, sorry Coldplay fans (me being one of them), RHCP is off a different level altogether. Now it wasn’t all hunky dory for this band from Los Angeles, they started off on a rather disastrous fashion with their first two albums was an absolute waste of radio waves, and they were well set on becoming one of those countless bands who tried to make it big, but just fizzed out. The 80’s were not a good time for RHCP, four studio albums and barely a single good song to talk about. The band needed some change, needed some spunk, attitude etc. In short the band needed some Blood, Sugar, Sex and Magik. This was without a doubt the album that really changed things for RHCP, Blood Sugar, Sex, Magik was the band’s first commercial success, paving way to a decade mind numbingly awesome studio albums. Things just kept getting better for RHCP in the 90’s, probably had something to do with the arrival of the aforementioned ‘Black Magic Woman’ into this world, but yes Red Hot Chili Peppers were now a force to be reckoned with. One Hot Minute was just an tiny appetizer compared to their single greatest studio album till date – CALIFORNICATION. This was really when RHCP had hit India, back in the day when walk-mans and disc man’s were cool, I would save up all my pocket money and the first ever cassette I had purchased was RHCP’s Californication album. Quite possibly on of my all-time favourite albums ever, this is one musical master piece. Every single song from this album is perfection, such a vast range and after hearing this, every single person will agree that Red Hot Chili Peppers are most definitely one of the all-time greatest rock bands, definite top ten material in my book. Flea is probably one of the craziest bass guitarist I have known, I can’t even begin to count the number of crazy jaw dropping guitar solo’s he’s had in this very album. Quite frankly Californication reached such great heights that I feared no other RHCP album could live up to that name, kind of like Pearl Jam with Ten, one feared RHCP had peaked too early. But By The Way and Stadium Arcadium are equally good in my opinion, the first side of Stadium Arcadium is just a joy to listen to, and By The Way if you give it a lot of hearings, you will undoubtedly grow to love that album. All in all, an awesome discography and an awesome band, here is their discography in order of awesomeness of course: 

• 1999 - Californication
• 1991 - Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik
• 2006 - Stadium Arcadium
• 2002 - By The Way
• 1995 - One Hot Minute
• 2011 - I'm With You
• 1984 - The Red Hot Chili Peppers
• 1985 - Freaky Styley
• 1987 - The Uplift Mofo Party Plan
• 1989 - Mother's Milk

Now seeing as I have not recommended any songs, I decided to have a little bit of fun, now I cant stress enough that EVERY SINGLE SONG FROM EVERY ALBUM AFTER 1991 – Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik is awesome and all of these songs are in my top rated list, but if I had to be choosy and pick say my top 25 all-time greatest RHCP songs, my list would go something like this:

 
I’m on my way to Chilli’s to have some beers, meeting my Cabron right Under The Bridge, By The Way our ringmaster Gardullah shall also be joining us. At our booth we will talk about the most random things like whether the hot foreign chick will Give It Away to the fat indian guy, or about how Charlie Kelly is the man. In between from time to time my friends will go to smoke on the Otherside, whilst I will wonder about random things like the possibility of a Parallel Universe or the distant hope of having Snow in Bombay. Now I Could Have Lied and totally made up this entire paragraph, but assuming I didn’t I Can’t Stop now can I? Like I have already said, Chilli’s man - This is the Place, the place where we all hang out no matter which day of the week it is. From time to time random people will join us and say more random things, like KK about his adventures in Gondia with his Aeroplane or about how a kid named Raghukul can live the life of a Hank Moody from Californication. And then there’s Rathod the wackiest one of them all, he once broke his leg by stepping on a twig on some Wet Sand. Everyone will always call Mr Parth Adhikari first, and if its not a guy he will always go “Tell Me Baby” first. You must wonder why I spend so much time outside the house, because I have an overbearing set of parents whose main goal is to Torture Me. Summer is well and truly here as the temperatures go up, every 60 seconds spent outside feels like One Hot Minute. Dani California is one RHCP’s most famous songs from the album Stadium Arcadium, I’m running out of ideas here cause nothing on this earth is in context to Emmit Remmus, Apache Rose Peacock and The Zephyr Song. 

Follow @SwamiG13

Happy Valentine's Day............BARF!!!!

Its that day of the year again, the day you randomly see a lot of people in Red, the Shiv Sena's favorite bribe collection and lathi charge day, yes I'm talking about Valentine's Day. I feel bad for the guys who were actually born on Valentine's day, I mean not only do they have to endure their birthday with all the cheesy, tacky celebrations but also the whole world's buying chocolates and flowers and the poor bugger HAS to do the same despite the fact that its his birthday today. But its 2012 people, couples have evolved from this petty holiday and refrained from such tacky meaningless celebrations, at least most of them have. I mean don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the concept of love and showing that love to your partner with flowers and what not, but why make such a colossal deal out of it.

Now obviously for argument's sake we shall assume that there is a certain lady that I myself am trying to woo, and for the purposes of confidentiality we shall refer to this person as HER or SHE. Now the very fact that I am sitting and blogging/tweeting on the eve of Valentine's Day does say a lot about my current situation. I mean I could be a complete diplomat and come up with a bunch of excuses like, "SHE doesn't live in Bombay which is a real deal-breaker", or "SHE is not looking for what I have to offer" and my personal favorite and the plain and honest truth, however sincere it might be, "SHE is just out of my league" :P Irrespective of that let's assume I were to celebrate tomorrow, with HER I wouldn't to what every other guy does and buy her lame ass flowers and some chocolates, here's what I would do.

Buy HER a CD of Marvin Gaye's greatest hits, okay I'll probably not buy her that because that would be very very hard to get hold of, but nevertheless save the album "Motown's Greatest Hits" on HER iPod. Now I say this for many reasons, and the most important of them being because Marvin Gaye is a black dude who sings very well. Now we all know that them Blackstrat Blues and Buddy Guy are the most romantic and groovy singers in this world, hell its R&B, Blues and Jazz in general, but this Gaye isn't soo far behind, very very soothing vocals and he was quite the hit with the ladies I tell you. Its a shame all these Black Blues' singers die soo young, I guess its due to their lifestyle, nevertheless in the 44 years that Mr Marvin Gaye was alive he did sing some beautiful melodies, exactly the kind of music you would want to listen to hell even waltz to on a romantic date/evening. The first thing you think of when someone says Marvin Gaye would be his hit song "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" from that DHL ad, and quite frankly I like that song too, its quite peppy, a bit too fast to actually be considered as an R&B number, but good nonetheless. My personal favorite however is "You Are Everything", simply awesome this song is, and exactly the kind of song that suits well the day. The entire album is a good listen, not like an everyday listen, but once in a while when you are in the romantic mood, smitten and what not, this is exactly the album you should listen to. More cult Gaye hits include "Heard It Through The Grapevine" (the CCR version is only a million times better), "Let's Get It On", "That's The Way Love Is", "Too Busy Thinking About My Baby", "How Sweet It Is", "It Takes Two" etc etc. Looking at some of the names, you clearly get a fair idea about some of this kind of music and just for the record, one can only wonder how many women has Marvin Gaye wooed with his sweet talking attitude and songs like this !!

Now that the gift aspect of the evening is taken care of, where to dine - not to worry, Swami G has that figured out too. This tiny cafe in town a few minutes away from VT Station called "Cafe Universal". Sure Iranian or Parsi food is a really bold choice for date night, but the Cafe in general is a very quite and chilled out place. Its a bit tiny so there's gonna be a lot of waiting time specially tomorrow, but the service is mindbogglingly fast, but you're gonna wanna enjoy a nice long date over at Cafe Universal. Its the perfect for those lazy afternoons when you really no place to hang out, not very expensive this cafe, but its not too fancy either. The food is really the reason why you should go here, one of the many places that serve all kinds of meat in Bombay, now being a Vegetarian Convert myself, us converts generally prefer Chicken to anything else because it takes us a while to transition into being a proper Non-Vegetarian. So obviously the first time I went to America and tried Beef, I hated it and could not eat more than 2-3 bites of it, mainly because they don't know how to cook those Americans and plus its just very thick in general. So obviously when my buddy told me about the Beef Burgers at Universal, I wasn't super excited for obvious reasons. Nevertheless our entourage went to paint the town red, famished and a little worn out from the train ride from Kanjur Marg to VT. But boy was it worth the weight, the Steak Bun or the Beef Burger as we could call it, was easily the best burger I have ever had in my life. Period. Topped with onions, a perfectly sized steak, with chilli sauce and mustard and a little bit of fries, for 175 bucks (plus tax), this is easily the best bargain you can get in Bombay. And trust me its filling, we each had ONE and we were so full, we had to walk back to the other side of town just to feel a bit better. Pure magic that burger was, one of my friends called me the next day and goes, "Dude last night had dreams of that burger man, I want to go again". And he's right, you have to have for yourself to know what I'm talking about. There's more to Cafe Universal than their burgers and beer, I hear that Parsi food is quite the delicacy and I must try more of it someday, you know some of the authentic stuff like Dhanshak and the Patra Ni Macchi. You get all of that and much more at Cafe Universal, and I will definitely try more of it in my forthcoming visits, but if you are going to Cafe Universal and you have room just for ONE item then it has to be their Beef Burger, and if my words don't convince you then this picture should.

Now that everything is sorted I shall get back to my day-to-day activities and give no further importance to this petty day, for whatsoever reasons, and to all the other love birds out there - Happy Valentine's Day......BARF!!! 

Follow @SwamiG13

From Abbey Road to Andheri West Bhurji!!!

Finally after a rather long hiatus, I have decided to rekindle my passion of blogging. Sure life has been super super fun with all the alcohol and house parties of December and January, but those happy months are over now and the evil beast that is sobriety is hampering my spirits; nevertheless in these drunken escapades I have come to TWO life altering conclusions, 1. The Beatles are the best English band ever and 2. The best food after you are well and truly drunk is Bhurji Pav.

The Beatles part was a no brainer really and quite frankly I'm surprised I took this long to come to this conclusion. Everybody has heard a ton of Beatles and all their Greatest Hits - "Hey Jude", "Eight Days A Week", "Yellow Submarine" etc, but in terms of sheer numbers, their discography is easily the most top rated discography amongst all bands/artists on my iPod. Straight away I must first tell you that "Imagine" as good as a song it is, is NOT a Beatles song, it is however one of the solo ventures of the late great John Lennon. The 60's well and truly belonged to the Beatles, giving us a staggering 13 albums in the span of 7 years. And all these albums are stand out, so easy on the ear, pure musical symphony. The Fab Four as they were called, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and George Harrison. Be it their trademark Beatles sign with the giant T or their wacky mustaches; the four of them were trendsetters extraordinaire and legends in their own right. Easily one of the all time greatest bands, both in terms of commercial success and sheer fan following. I've always maintained that The Beatles were the greatest thing ever to come out of Liverpool. They had a rather heartbreaking fall out after 1970 with each member going their separate ways and they did achieve a lot of success but all said and done, The Beatles is what got them the world fame that they have even today. Over 40 years after their first single, the Beatles are still as good as what they were all those years ago, I am still trying to have a mustache like George Harrison and John Lennon is still the undisputed king of vocals.

John Lennon has said publicly that the King Elvis was the most dominant influence on the type of music The Beatles played, they started off as a pure Classic Rock band and moved onto various experimental genres like psychedelic to even Indian Classical music. Yes, in 1966 when the whole of England was celebrating good ol' Englands glorious world cup triumph, John Lennon and his bwouys were chilling with Ravi Shankar in India, the latter teaching George Harrison a thing or do about both the guitar and the sitar. Every rock fan knows that the Beatles are probably one of the handful bands who will forever be remembered for their contribution to Rock 'n' Roll. Words simply can't do justice to how beautiful their music is, you just have to listen for yourself and be lost in a never ending sea of symphony, pure bliss is what The Beatles are. Like I said before all their albums are so damm good, I cannot possibly pick favorites but I must go against the common belief that Abbey Road was one of their greatest albums. Sure it was good in its own way but in my book, without a doubt Rubber Soul, Revolver and With The Beatles are their best works of art. All their songs will give you that sense of remembrance since they are all so familiar. Off the top of my head I'd say "Eleanor Rigby", "Michelle", "Girl", "Eight Days A Week", "Taxman", "Love Me Do", "I Saw Her Standing There", "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" and "Help!" are my all time favorite Beatles songs. Very very unconventional that list, but nevertheless its my list. After almost 1 month of listening only to the Beatles, they have stormed into the Top 5 all time greatest bands list of Swami G, I always knew they were bloody brilliant, but I guess I never knew they were this good. Surely every single boy and girl has to have their entire discography on their iPod, here is their disco (in order of preference of course)

• 1965 - Rubber Soul
• 1966 - Revolver
• 1963 - With The Beatles
• 1964 - A Hard Day's Night 
• 1963 - Please Please Me
• 1964 - Beatles For Sale
• 1965 - Help!
• 1969 - Abbey Road
• 1967 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club
• 1967 - Magical Mystery Tour
• 1968 - The White Album
• 1969 - Yellow Submarine 
• 1970 - Let It Be

My second life altering conclusion was far more monumental in comparison to the first one. I have always known that Egg Bhurji with Pav, more commonly known as Bhurji Pav is probably one of the reasons why Bombay is such an awesome city. You can always count on the Bhurji Pav-walla, no matter how late you get from work, or you had a rather early dinner and you fancy a nice midnight snack - Bhurji Pav is always there to the rescue. But the time you will REALLY appreciate the pure essence of Bhurji Pav is when you start drinking, more often than not, you spend soo much of your money on booze, that you are left with very little money for food. Now we all know the implications of drinking on an empty stomach, also we know that you don't want to over indulge yourself on food like Chinese, or Indian food just before a night of drinking. What you need is something, that not only helps absorb the alcohol, but also keeps that bloody useless bugger called "The Hangover" away. Then you realise why Bhurji Pav is soo awesome. For a nominal amount of 50 bucks, you get a staggering amount of Egg Bhuji and along with those Bombay Pav's, its easily the most fulfilling meal at 3 am in the morning. Now obviously the shop isn't gonna be all lit up so late in the night, but you have to look closely, you will find that the Bhurji Pav walla will be tucked away in one cozy corner, and around him will be standing atleast 5 large groups of drunkards, who are digging their pockets for all the chillar that they can muster. There are tons of Bhurji Pav wallas in this amazing city, each place will probably have a bunch of regulars so I have narrowed it down to the Top 3 Bhurji Pav Walla's in the whole of Bombay. I have obviously been here a lot of times, both when sober and drunk, and I have to admit this is easily one of the greatest drinking foods ever made. My Top 3 have to be:

• Andheri West Station (opens late at about 10ish and is open till sunrise) 
• Haji Ali, Heera Panna Junction (another owl, starts late and along with the Tawa Biryani walla have monopolized the whole of South Bombay)
• Vakola (probably the first and still the best Bhurji Pav walla in Bombay, infamous for his heavenly Bhurji Pav's and Omlette Pav's) 

All these joints and countless other ones are frequented not just by broke ass college going kids, but also by proper office going people, old aunties, school children, cheating husbands, and alcoholics alike. Bombay's BHURJI PAV is the most awesome roadside food for the night time, and it will forever be a part of my life now. The perfect food solution in terms of money, best working hours too and damm healthy too with all the protein and what not. 

Cheerio, I'll be back in a few days time. Cheers!! 

Follow @SwamiG13