Friday, April 20, 2012

Happy 420: A Tribute to the African Herbsman

Potheads all over the globe would have instantly gotten the connection between 420, ie the 20th of April and the late great Bob Marley, but for those of you who didn't fear not I shall explain that bit of logic to you. As most of you'll would know Tuff Gong a.k.a Bob Marley was the pioneer of the Rastafari Movement and it is in this custom that people celebrate 420 as a day dedicated just to Cannibais or Marijuana. Needless to say this is one festival all my friends were anxious to celebrate and I am sure they would have done absolute justice to Bob Marley and Rasta's all over this world. I really don't think there is even a single person alive who knows music and doesn't know who Bob Marley is, I mean even those die hard Taylor Swift and Bieber lovers would have the common sense to appreciate the true genius that is Bob Marley. I myself have 2 T-shirts, one poster and although my lifestyle is nothing compared to Marley, I'd like to think of myself of a Rasta. (who wouldn't).

You know in a lot of ways I do know a lot more about weed, marijuana or this J-phenomenon. For a guy who has a moral highground of never ever touching a cigarette, I do spent insane amounts of times with people who basically live to smoke. No judgement here, its just a lifestyle choice and for better or for worse, I had decided to refrain from that filthy habit and I'm gonna stick by it. But I think its a miracle to have only non-smoking friends in this day and age, with the amount of stress and the sheer ease in access of this "funny tobacco" as my friends mom would call it, you can't fault for having so many friends who are well how do I put this nicely - POTHEADS. It's not like they are going to mind at all but for privacy reasons I shall not take any names but please note that I will give subtle hints so that if you really read between the lines, you can really figure out who's who in my very awesome yet very messed up Entourage. Yes its another poem, yes I will take about Bob Marley too and Yes I will also save space for a place where you get insane Tibetean Food. Buckle up folks, this is gonna be a long one:

He was called the "African Herbsman" by everyone from queens to nerds, 
I'm gonna talk to you'll about my gang's "Buffalo Soldier" and his Three Little Birds,
I won't be as good as the "Redemption Song" but I'd sure as hell give it a try,
And like every Entourage's motto - "No Woman, No Cry".

First and foremost we have to talk about the so called bad influence,
The guy who started the youngest and is now Powai's supplier in every sense,
This proud Marathi Manoos is easily the leader of the wolfpack,
When this guy hits a winning streak in FIFA/Poker, you should see the size of his winnings' stack.

Then lets talk about my nigger from Malawi,
Its after the 19th of April now, so he's finally free,
A two time Marathon finisher this nigger is,  who no one calls by his first name,
An absolute lightweight he is but he's only 21 but one has to admit the kid's got game.

Moving on to the NRI Punjabi who jump ropes from Pune to Bombay,
He's my fellow Gooner and this kid's got some capacity I must say,
This punjabi bastard can outdrink anyone but he ain't getting thinner,
And despite what 15-20 attempts he's still not a FIFA Tourney Winner.

Now every entourage has a person who's an absolute wildcard,
Ask him where the North Star is and you'll think he's an absolute retard,
But there's no denying we've had many laughs thanks to this Khajoor - our gang's joker,
I especially enjoyed our brief time together as one of the two non-smokers.

If Khajoor's the wild card what about my man Rambo?
With great power comes great responsibility as he's the gang's roller on the go,
He's always suggesting new places to eat and go THOK,
But this guy's cricket and football agility is an absolute joke.

One such place he suggested was this Tibetean restaurant called SERNYAA,
They've got the best Momos in town, I'm not gonna lie to ya.
Chicken & Pork Momos for under hundred bucks,
The only drawback is that its at Andheri West and Malad, where finding a parking spot really sucks.

Still its the ideal place to go hogg when you're talking in terms of value for money,
After like 6 rounds of Mindspace(doing you know what), we order pretty much the entire menu its not funny,
The soups are also insane, you should always go for the Thukpa, its ample quantity so it should suffice, 
A couple of starters, soups, momos and always just ONE Bamboo Rice.

So this is pretty much our weekly J-trip from Powai to Malad, 
They smoke so many that they eventually get the munchies - so proper food must be had,
The best thing about Sernyaa is that it's open the whole day,
And their sauces are the best I've ever had with Momo's - there's really nothing more to say.

So there you have it folks, my so called entourage. I have very little in common with these people, in every sense of the word, but for better or for worse, they are some of my closest friends and I can't deny I've had some mad times with them. Sure sometimes these motherfucker's hotbox me against my wishes, but what the hell - talk about taking one for the team right? But when the chips are down, or I am a lot of drinks down, I can always count on any one of these guys to make sure I'm safe and that's basically what every entourage does now isn't it? Its a shame this is a food and music blog so I can't really talk about the other awesome things we've done, but nevertheless Long Live that old uncle at Sernyaa's, long live the Rasta spirit and Hail Bob Marley. As my fellow pothead friends would say today, "Ek Joint Bob Marley Ke Naam".

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Iniya Puthandu Nalvazhthukkal

For my fellow non-tamil speaking friends, that meant Happy New Year. The deal is that my people celebrate the new year in April, and sadly enough its not like they get sloshed with flaming tequila shots after midnight or something, a Tamil New Year is a very sombre and drab affair - one that I have had to painfully endure for the best part of 22 years now. First things first I have to clarify that I am a PROUD tamilian -  sure there are some parts of my custom that even I simply find deluded but if there's one thing that pisses me off the most with my people are the way we celebrate our festivals. On an average we have a whole horde of pointless festivals (the flipside of having so many deities and gods), and an orthodox family does the same exact thing for every festival. Having lived in Bombay for almost 15 years now, there is no reason to go over board for any festival, so sweets and fried items like chukli's and murukku's go out of the window. The best thing mom does is make a simple Paal Paayasam (Kheer) and the dreaded Sambhar with some hideous curry. Now lets for argument sake assume that I still like Veg food and vegetables. Of all the possible veggies, the only ones that I ever liked where Beetroot, Gobi and Bhendi. I think thats a fairly common list considering Aloo is just okay and stuff like Cabbage, Baigan, Raddish etc are a strong NO.

That's where my problem starts. Sambhar is a mixture of 2 of my least favorite things - daal and Raddish. To add to that if you make a Cabbage curry, then New Year or not, I will not eat it. And this phenomenon is applicable only for us South Indians who are forced to live a double-life because our parents are staunch Vegen's, so whilst they think that you are losing your appetite because you hardly eat at home, little do they know that we actually have 2 lunches, 2 dinners and 2 of everything else because we simply can't go back to the life of eating just Thair Sadam with Beans curry. So this post is dedicated to every South Indian who suffers my plight of not getting non veg at home. While our friends complain about how they have to eat Ghar Ka Khana - their Ghar Ka Khana is still cool stuff like Butter Chicken and Fish Curry n what not. Only we have to suffer the plight of day before yesterday's Daal with chapati and then leave the house to go gobble down an entire Sausage and Salami Sizzler only to go back home and eat a nice big helping of Curd Rice (True Story).

And its at times as dire as these do you really get to appreciate the awesomeness of the fast food industry. I mean fine dining is a delightful experience in itself, but there's something about eating dirt cheap food at your everyday run of the mill restaurants that's just a very liberating experience in itself. So from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. Thank You Sub of the Day, Thank you KFC Zinger, Thank You Hot Wings, Thank You Bhurji Pav, Thank You K3 and your awesome chats n Vadapavs, Thank You Chilly Chicken at Gall, Thank You Butter Chicken at Daff, Thank You Butter Chicken with Pawan, Thank You Chicken Tandoori full at Charpai, Thank You ridiculously cheap sizzler at Pop Tates, Thank You McDonald's Breakfast Menu, Thank You McDonalds for your awesome Spicy Range and those Shake Shake Fries, Thank You Apple Chicken, Thank You 5 Spice for everything and last but by no means the least THANK YOU KALLURI. My fellow south indian brother, who has never once cried or complained about going and eating non veg with me, no matter what time of the day it is. This very nice (fat) man is very good friend to have, not only does he know very good cheap places to eat, but now he also gets us corporate discounts and Snapdeal offers.

You'll will obviously find this post very random and meaningless but it had to be done. I spent so much of my money eating with Kalluri and my bwouys as he would say, and I think I owe it to all of them and all these wonderful eating oppurutunities in Powai thanks to whom poor Southy bwouys like us don't have to go hungry. So happy New Year Kalluri, here's hoping we can keep hogging for many more years to come.
PS: Salle Mote ek baar tho Apple Chicken ka last piece mereko khane dey!!! Haha just kiddin man, Cheers!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Time for some High Voltage Rock & Roll!!

This post has been a long overdue. A very long overdue for that matter. I've been raving about Rock for almost one year now, all the way from Beatles to Blackstratblues - but somewhere along the way I got terribly sidetracked. When I first started this blog, I sort of had a blue print in my mind and had a specific order of artists and bands that I would write about, however for various reasons one of my favorite hard rock bands have slipped down to my 61st Post. For this I am terribly sorry. I think I owe to the Young brothers (Malcolm and Angus) for giving us Rock lovers possibly one of the coolest and new-age bands in AC/DC. In my opinion Angus and Malcolm Young are the equivalent of the Wright Brothers in the Hard Rock genre, I mean it was AC/DC that immortalized guitar solos, mad whacky vocals and some hard rock elements to fuse them into a magical genre called "ROCK & ROLL". Angus Young has publically gone on to admit that, despite popular opinion AC/DC is not just a hard rock or a heavy metal band, they were and still are the first ever Rock & Roll band. Their music is distinctive, no band or artist in my opinion can ever replicate an AC/DC and an Angus Young.

Okay first things first, a lot of people actually have so many bullshit theories about the full form of AC/DC. Anti Christ Devil's Child is one of my favorite conspiracy theories, well I'll save you'll the trouble. AC/DC doesn't have a full form, the Young brothers came up with this name because it was engraved in the back of their sister's sewing machine. Also they believed that since their music is soo high voltage in nature and full of electricity, AC/DC would be a fitting name(alternating current/direct current). One of the first ever bands to originate from the land down under to have achieved such global fame, AC/DC was pretty much the brainchild of the Scottish born Young brothers - Angus, Malcolm and George who later moved to New South Wales to pursue a career in music. A lot of their initial success has to be down to former vocalist and band member Bon Scott. AC/DC arrived on the music scene with a bang, a very High Voltage album (quite literally) was recorded in 1975 and after that came one of their greatest ever albums in TNT. An album every year and all platinum selling records put AC/DC right on the road to that Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The band was still new so they would release an Australian version and an International version, and by the end of the 70's AC/DC in just 6-7 albums had reached the peak of their popularity with their album Highway to Hell. There was no stopping this Australian rock band, they were destined for greatness.

But then the inevitable happened, charismatic vocalist Bon Scott was found dead (aged only 33) in his car after a night of serious drinking. I mean like really really serious drinking, not the kind we do. As people went on to refer it, it was a case of Death by Mis-adventure, Bon Scott left a void that was too big to fill. He was definitely one of the better vocalists around but like they say, "When life hands you lemons, you gotta make Lemonade". Enter Brian Johnson. And the rest as they say is History. After Johnson's arrival the band recorded Back in Black, easily their biggest ever commercial success and AC/DC's reputation as a true Rock band was confirmed. Then came that crazy crazy album - For Those About To Rock We Salute You, the same being one of my all time favorite AC/DC songs, with those magical gun shots being a fitting salute to every rocker. The law of averages eventually caught up with AC/DC who undervent a massive dip in popularity during the 80's, but after yet another shake up within the band they were back doing what they did best in 1990 with The Razors Edge and Ballbreaker a few years later. Their status as Rock & Roll's greatest was never ever in question, the only real question was for how long will this band go on, and the answer to that was till Black Ice. Another very good album, a fitting way to go out, with a bang! Just like they arrived with such intensity, Black Ice signalled the end of possibly one of the world's greatest bands. An absolute peach of a discography, surely this band is the crown jewel of your iPod and it is an absolute no brainer this - have the entire discography of AC/DC, if you don't, go download it NOW.

But hold the fuck on!!! If you thought AC/DC was over, you are wrong Mate!!! The Young brothers are still raring to go and as the band marks its 40th anniversary in 2013, Angus Young dropped a bombshell by stating that the band will indeed reunite for another studio album and even a world tour. If this world does indeed happen, there's no chance they will even come remotely close to India, but fingers crossed we all are settled in our lives by then and we can afford the luxury of watching AC/DC live. They are one of the few bands that are actually still together or alive for that matter from the kind of music I listen to and I can think of no better band to be my first ever concert experience. That being said, its a dream and there's atleast a hundred obstacles in between me and that elusive AC/DC concert. Anyways here goes their discography (in my order of preference, wow it feels so good to finally say that):
  • 1975 - High Voltage
  • 1979 - Highway to Hell
  • 1975 - T.N.T
  • 1980 - Back in Black
  • 1981 - For Those About To Rock We Salute You
  • 1976 - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
  • 2008 - Black Ice
  • 1995 - Ball Breaker
  • 2000 - Stiff Upper Lip
  • 1990 - The Razors Edge
  • 1988 - Blow Up Your Video
  • 1983 - Flick of the Switch
  • 1985 - Fly on the Wall
  • 1978 - Powerage
  • 1977 - Let There Be Rock
Apart from these awesome Studio's I dont need to remind you that AC/DC also did the soundtrack of some kickass movies like the Iron Man series and The School of Rock. I guess the School of Rock was the whole reason we all got into the AC/DC groove and for that we must thank Mr Jack Black. AC/DC are like the Star Wars series in many ways, everyone's heard of them and you are either gonna LOVE them to bits or just not get them at all. I have no doubt in my mind that I am as I'm sure a lot of you'll are the former. The toughest thing to ever do would be to try and name my favorite AC/DC songs because there simply are just way to many. Gun to my head although Brian Johnson was a much better lead than Bon Scott, some of my favorite AC/DC songs are from the Scott era. "High Voltage", "Can I Sit Next To You Girl", "Rock&Roll Singer", "T.N.T", "Highway to Hell", "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap", "Big Balls", "It's a Long Way To The Top(if You Wanna Rock & Roll) a.k.a "Zach's Song" from the movie School of Rock (this is the song that they perform in the battle of bands final), "Problem Child", "For Those About To Rock", "Back in Black", "Hells Bells", "Black Ice", "Rock & Roll Dream" "She Likes Rock & Roll", "Shoot To Thrill", "You Shook Me All Night Long", "Rock & Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" etc etc. Seriously I can go on for hours, I think I'd leave it at this, AC/DC are the true definition of a proper ROCK & ROLL band, they have had the good fortune of having not one but two insanely talented vocalists in Bon Scott and Brian Johnson and in Angus Young they have possibly one of the greatest guitarists of the modern era. Angus Young is easily one of the craziest motherfuckers in Rock & Roll and AC/DC are definitely one of the greatest rock bands. Their logo is by far one of the coolest and that image of Angus Young playing the guitar has forever immortalized guitarists everywhere. Guys pull out those head phones and listen to some AC frekking DC!!! FTW!!!