Why Southy Boys don't have Ab's

After the overwhelming success of "Why This Kolaveri Di", even I'm feeling a little poetic and thought this would be the right time to bring back the poet in me. This is something I'd like to call, "Why Southy Boys don't have Ab's". Also I will try and enlighten people about 5 Spice. 

Every southy boy in Bombay has one thing in common,

His love-hate relationship with Amma's Thair Sadaam, 

Since all our parents are Veggies, we have very few sources of protein, 

They've been scamming us with 'Molgapodi and Idli" since we were thirteen.

No matter how hard we try, we can't seem to get rid of that belly,
Its coz we've spent all our summers eating only rice sitting in front of the telly.

Even though most of us are fairly sporty and athletic,

We are forced to Nerd up because we are good at Arithmetic.

What does all this have to do with 5 Spice?

Nothing really, but first things first let’s talk about their BURNT CHILLY RICE.

Possibly their most ordered dish, by Southy’s and Sardar’s alike,

Ample quantity for just 150 bucks, seriously what’s not to like?

Every Mumbaikar has been to 5 Spice atleast a 100 times,

But the starters are always Kung Pao Chicken/Paneer and the cheapest bottle of wine,

You can’t deny the Kung Pao Chicken is devine,

But you gotta try the Apple Chicken, its absolutely sublime.

Can’t say much about the Prawns and Pomfret

I haven’t really tried a lot of their seafood yet,

Ive heard nice things about their Lamb and Crab too,

But my dad’s not a millionaire and anything Non-Veg is considered taboo.

So obviously I like to keep things simple with my Sapo Chicken,

Gosh Ive had so much of it that I can literally feel my waist thicken,

Anything with chicken is awesome at 5 Spice,

Thank god I’m no longer a Loser Iyer boy eating Amma’s Curd Rice.

I wouldn’t recommend go to 5 Spice with a pretty hot date,

There’s just too much quantity, you’re gonna have to doggy-bag her entire plate,

Besides isn’t the whole objective of the date is to take her back to your place?

Without the smell of chinese food all over your face.

That’s why I say go to 5 Spice with your entire Entourage,

When it comes to Chinese food in Bombay, this place is like the Taj,

You gotta admit it’s the best Chinese food anyone can ever make,

And for the love of god, why are they always out of Blueberry Cheese Cake!?

So I’m sorry ladies I love Chinese food too much to worry about having abs,

Just by writing this poem, I'm fantasizing about Chicken, Prawns and Crabs,

I’m so glad us Powai people finally have a good restaurant nearby like 5 Spice,

Now all our house parties shall have Sapo Chicken and Burnt Chilly Rice!!

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Eating in Worli - The Non-Celebrity Way

One of your biggest problems in life could be the fact that your office is situated at Worli Seaface, full of soo many fancy places to dine, but as a working man can you really afford  to eat at Copper Chimney and Moti Mahal on a daily basis? Not unless you're Bruce Wayne. I mean surely a place like Worli must have some sort of middle ground where you can enjoy a sumptous meal for a reasonable price yet at the same time have the luxury of air conditioning, a decent ambience and most importantly good food. Well after many a day spent scavenging for under cooked pizzas from the Atria Mall food court, a little birdie told me about Kanishka. Hotel Kanishka as it is otherwise referred to is on the junction of Haji Ali right opposite Crossroads and Heera Panna. Now obviously when a teenager goes out for lunch McDonald's and Subway are the most appealing to him because of the simple reason that it is the cheapest and most filling option. How wrong was I! Thanks to the gang at BNG, I was introduced to the wonderful world of Kanishka.

First things first it is a PURE VEG restaurant. So yes it is going to be difficult to convince your Punjabi and North Indian friends to come down to Worli for Veg food, but give this place a chance. There's something different about the Paneer in this place, almost as if each cube was handcrafted and fermented to just the perfect amount for the culinary delight of the consumer. Bahut english Jhaad raha hoon kya?? Okay. Arre yahaan ka Paneer Tikka Masala bahut hi sahi hai. And not just the Paneer dishes, anything be it south indian, Pav Bhaji, hell even there chinese is passable and its good to see that there aren't ridiculous dishes like "Veg Chezwan Noodal" and "Veg Trriippllee Rice". Obviously I wouldn't recommend the chinese here, but the north indian and the Pav Bhaji is well worth a visit. A proper fast food restaurant this, they deliver to most of the offices and areas in the vicinity, although during the peak lunch hours these delivery boys take there own sweet time on their little bicycles to get your order. Like any restaurant they aren't open all day, and they are rather particular about their timings (I've learnt  this the hard way), they will not serve you Punjabi food after 4 pm, no matter how much you try and convince the waiter that it is indeed your lunch time now.

Places like Kanishka will never go out of business for the simple reason that they are operational for the common man, a man who refuses to carry his mom's tiffin box because that's NOT cool anymore, yet at the same time he doesn't want to spend his entire paycheck on food and beverages. Atmost you will have to fork out about 200 bucks a head and this includes the complete package (inclusive of those masala chaas and mango lassi's your middle aged managers seem to love soo much). Either way this is a great restaurant to visit for a nice lunch with colleagues or friends. The service in the AC isn't the fastest but it is an enjoyable experience nonetheless.One of my favorite restaurants in Bombay this, and perhaps the few things I miss the most about my job, the good ol' days when we would all meet up Hotel Kanishka for a nice group lunch and hogg soo much that we would have to walk all along the Haji Ali promenade just to make sure that we could actually get some work done post lunch. Its a shame really that I simply cannot get the time to visit this place more often, I mean there Paneer is very very good, but travelling from one end of Bombay to another for Veg Food just doesn't seem logical anymore. But that's probably because a lot of my life decisions are based solely on the availability of Chicken Lollipops.

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SuperHeavy!

Imagine Mick Jagger, sure he wasn't the greatest singer or showman rock has ever seen but still you gotta admit that the Rolling Stones did lick its way to success and Jagger was quintessential to that. Imagine the reggae brilliance of Damian Marley. Add a lil' Indian flavor with the super awesome and insanely talented AR Rahman and we have a true ROCK SUPER Group. That's SuperHeavy for you. A true innovation in music with stalwarts from various cultures combining together to deliver one very satisfactory album and one very promising band.

We all know what Rahman has to offer to us and needless to say whatever he composes is pure musical bliss. Nobody in their right mind is going to have anything negative to say about Reggae, specially if it has the blood of the great Bob Marley, and in 24 year old Joss Stone we have found yet another talented vocalist from Britain. Jagger singing in Sanskrit takes a while to getting used to but all in all this is one brilliant album. They started off in LA, recording hours and hours of music (eventually recording over 30 hours of music). After a lot of editing and deliberation they came up with 16 songs in their self titled debut album which hit the web on September 2011. One of my favorites this, love the mixture of Marley's voice and Rahman's musical genius. Damian is no match compared to his father but man Junior Gong can groove them Reggae beats. He features heavily in all the vocals of the songs and rightly so. Still the standout songs have to the ones sung by the Little Master of the musical world - Mahiya and Satyameva Jayathe. The latter is easily the best song on the album with a very simple yet profound meaning - Truth Will Always Triumph. Jagger and Joss Stone have done a rather convincing job as vocalists too with good contributions in songs like Miracle Worker, SuperHeavy, Hey Captain, Rock Me Gently, Beautiful People, Commonground etc.

All in all this is one band that I am going to keenly keep tabs on, I hope they collaborate more often and explore this new genre of Indian ballads to Reggae. Mick Jagger isn't getting any younger so how about they replace him with an Eddie Vedder? Nah, SuperHeavy is good as it is, more lovely music in the future I hope. A definite download this, sure its not going to be on of the all time greatest albums, but I've heard a lot worse. And seriously if a collaboration of Rahman, Marley, Jagger, Dave Stewart and Joss Stone doesn't get you excited then maybe you aren't a true ROCK enthusiast mate!!! Cheers, have a good weekend people.

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The Sion Samosa

As a former student of the S.I.E.S college of Commerce and Economics, I feel absolutely no gratitude whatsoever about the college as such, sure I might have made some of my best friends thanks to those holy walls of the “Temple of Education” but I think what I will remember the most about the shithole that is Sion is undoubtedly GURU KRUPA and the world famous Chole Samosa and Ragda Pattice. Easily the only attraction in Sion and probably the only reason why so many people still join this college, Guru Krupa is the ultimate fast food joint. Perfectly located at a stone’s throw from possibly the most crowded area of Sion, right on the cusps of Jain Society, this restaurant has seen a lot of kids spent the best part of their Economics lecture gobbling away those piping hot samosas. 


First things first, GK as the cool kids like to call this place is famous not just for its Samosa and Ragda Pattice, but also for it's Chaats to Pav Bhaji’s to South Indian specialities, but the funny this is that in the 5 years that I have spent eating at this place I have ordered just ONE item from the menu. So I really can’t say much about how the rest of the food is but the Samosa Chole is devine. Heavenly is the word when you are fighting sleep at 8.30 in the morning looking forward to a long hellish day of work, a GK samosa breakfast is just the kick start that you need. Don’t know what to do to while away those lazy afternoons of FYJC and SYJC when the teachers themselves bunk a few lectures of Commerce and French, then head on over to GK and chill at the rather cool ‘Air Conditioned Section’. I must warn you the prices are fractionally higher in the AC section although the seating sucks, barely room enough for 2 people to squeeze inside. But such is the crowd at GK that at many times you might not get a decent place to even stand and eat, and the coupon system can be rather frustrating because of the tedious queue’s and the lack of any order. Still that can be said about any fast food joint now can it? This isn’t the most family oriented place because it is just way too small, but I do know people who have driven from Bandra and other parts of the city just to eat lunch at Guru Krupa.


This one will always be one of the special eat-out joints of Bombay for me, and no matter how old I grow, I will always remember the wonderful times I’ve spent squished away in the booth at GK gulping down my Samosa while my friend barks out to the waiter, “Arre uncle zyada Kaanda daalo na”. I guess this isn’t the best restaurant in Bombay, hell not by a longshot but you ask any SIES student what their fondest memory of college was for them, well a Guru Krupa Samosa will be the most unanimous response. Oh and did I tell you that a plate of Samosa is still only twenty bucks, seems like the high cost of living and inflation have no impact whatsoever on the pricing strategy at GK and thank god for that. 

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The Return of The King - AR Rahman and Chris Martin that is!!! :)

I’ve got a delicious second season lined up, with lots of stories to tell. Sit back and enjoy the Flavor of Rock 2.0 (Hungrier – quite literally for some good food)

First of all it’s a personal milestone that I still remember my password to my Blogger id, this must mean I must really like writing. Well I guess I do, a friend of mine once told me that Cowardice was to run away from doing something you really love, well this is me doing what I Love for the time being at least. Anyways enough of the pleasantries, I’m sure everyone is fresh off the Diwali Festivities so I shall not add to your holiday weight and make my return with Music – 2 albums that featured tremendously on my Most Played List on my iPod whilst I have been away:

1.     ROCKSTAR

The whole world is waiting for 11.11.11, hell Aishwarya Rai is actually postponing the miracle of birth just so that it would be on this once-in-a-life-time day, but I for one am super excited about something else. I can’t wait for the movie Rockstar to release. If the movie is even half as good as it’s Music then I shall consider it money well spent. AR Rahman simply blows me away to pieces with this soundtrack, Mohit Chauhan is magical and he seems to have succeeded in making even the annoying Ranbir Kapoor look like a real rockstar, an indian Jim Morrison perhaps, well let’s see about that. This album is easily the best hindi album of 2011, I don’t usually go gaga over Hindi movies and their music (my Bole Chudiyan days are long behind me), but this album is a work of art. It’s such a complete musical master piece, something only a LEGEND like AR Rahman could have delivered. Everyone knows just how good Sadda Haq makes you feel, it’s almost as if you envision yourself on stage in front of a sold out crowd in Wembley rocking a guitar solo, but after a lot of hearing’s I have to say Sadda Haq doesn’t even make it to my Top 5 from this album. I mean don’t get me wrong, brilliant song and all but if you have heard the entire album you will know that songs like Nadaan Parindey, Kun Fayan, Jo Bhi Main, Phir Se Ud Chala and then the ultimate melody of them all – TUM HO are absolute masterpieces; Mohit Chauhan cements his position as Bollywood's undisputed king when it comes to playback singing and he's lent his voice for 9 of the 14 songs in this album. No prizes for guessing that these 9 songs are the best from this album.All in all this is a mind blowing album, I love how it’s got such variety and depth. I read in an interview on TV that the music was really what makes this movie, I mean it is a movie titled Rockstar and the fact that this one album had like 5 different styles of music all wrapped in one, is something AR Rahman is capable of. The Quawali’s of Kun Fayan where he reminds us yet again why he’s not just the best music composer but also a brilliant singer, the gypsy hippie theme of Hawaa Hawaa, the pure ROCK & ROLL image in Sadda Haq, this one’s got it all. Great album, just hope that the movie doesn’t disappoint but I’m guessing it will be worth your money just to go hear Mohit Chauhan sing and Nargis Fakhri take your breath away. Hell it’s only because of her that even the ridiculous TINGA-LINGA song is also a top rated song on my i-Pod. Also DO NOT fast forward those last 2-3 songs thinking they are just background scores, hell even they are bloody awesome. TANGO for TAJ!! 

2.     MYLO XYLOTO

Chris Martin and Coldplay never fail to disappoint do they? The long and awaited 5^th album of this super awesome british band finally ended a few weeks ago and almost instantly it has soared to the top of the charts. Another classic Coldplay album, although I for one had ridiculously high expectations and although in terms of numbers, this album is not on par with X&Y and Viva La Vida but still it’s a great album. The thing that I find best about Coldplay is how their main song always has like this 30 second build up, almost like a prelude to what’s in store, and I love how the prelude seamlessly runs into the actual song without you realizing that you’re on the next song. Gotta hand to Chris Martin mate, say what you want about the guy, he’s got such a cool life, a gorgeous wife in Miss Paltrow and did I mention he’s British – so his voice automatically becomes 3 notches cooler than all of us. I downloaded this album on the very day it released and I’ve been going “Para Para Paradise” since then. Lovely song, it’s got Coldplay written all over it. Hurts like Heaven is also an amazing song, like I said the intro to the song is really what makes it. My favourite song has to be Princess of China, Rihanna does a fab job as the Princess of China, love the beat of the song, it’s got a lot of meaning in it. I wouldn’t say this is Coldplay’s best work yet, but its definitely up there. I guess they always had this coming having released their best album first – sorta like Pearl Jam, but like the real PJ fans will tell you, whether its Black or The End, we still idolize Eddie Vedder and I guess that’s the same scenario with Coldplay. No matter what the band goes on to achieve, they are always going to be about Mr Chris Martin. It’s funny how most of us will have to wiki the remaining band members, and that’s another milestone I have achieved with this blog, first blog post written without the help of Wiki. In my defence I couldn’t have picked a bunch of easier albums.

Anyways, enjoy gang and remember “If it ain’t Classic, It aint ROCK”

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