Why Southy Boys don't have Ab's

After the overwhelming success of "Why This Kolaveri Di", even I'm feeling a little poetic and thought this would be the right time to bring back the poet in me. This is something I'd like to call, "Why Southy Boys don't have Ab's". Also I will try and enlighten people about 5 Spice. 

Every southy boy in Bombay has one thing in common,

His love-hate relationship with Amma's Thair Sadaam, 

Since all our parents are Veggies, we have very few sources of protein, 

They've been scamming us with 'Molgapodi and Idli" since we were thirteen.

No matter how hard we try, we can't seem to get rid of that belly,
Its coz we've spent all our summers eating only rice sitting in front of the telly.

Even though most of us are fairly sporty and athletic,

We are forced to Nerd up because we are good at Arithmetic.

What does all this have to do with 5 Spice?

Nothing really, but first things first let’s talk about their BURNT CHILLY RICE.

Possibly their most ordered dish, by Southy’s and Sardar’s alike,

Ample quantity for just 150 bucks, seriously what’s not to like?

Every Mumbaikar has been to 5 Spice atleast a 100 times,

But the starters are always Kung Pao Chicken/Paneer and the cheapest bottle of wine,

You can’t deny the Kung Pao Chicken is devine,

But you gotta try the Apple Chicken, its absolutely sublime.

Can’t say much about the Prawns and Pomfret

I haven’t really tried a lot of their seafood yet,

Ive heard nice things about their Lamb and Crab too,

But my dad’s not a millionaire and anything Non-Veg is considered taboo.

So obviously I like to keep things simple with my Sapo Chicken,

Gosh Ive had so much of it that I can literally feel my waist thicken,

Anything with chicken is awesome at 5 Spice,

Thank god I’m no longer a Loser Iyer boy eating Amma’s Curd Rice.

I wouldn’t recommend go to 5 Spice with a pretty hot date,

There’s just too much quantity, you’re gonna have to doggy-bag her entire plate,

Besides isn’t the whole objective of the date is to take her back to your place?

Without the smell of chinese food all over your face.

That’s why I say go to 5 Spice with your entire Entourage,

When it comes to Chinese food in Bombay, this place is like the Taj,

You gotta admit it’s the best Chinese food anyone can ever make,

And for the love of god, why are they always out of Blueberry Cheese Cake!?

So I’m sorry ladies I love Chinese food too much to worry about having abs,

Just by writing this poem, I'm fantasizing about Chicken, Prawns and Crabs,

I’m so glad us Powai people finally have a good restaurant nearby like 5 Spice,

Now all our house parties shall have Sapo Chicken and Burnt Chilly Rice!!

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